Hello, I have a child that is 4 years old and my GF also has a Child that is 4 years old! Only 4 days apart! my GF had some problems early in raising her child, and he was taken away for 2 years, she just got him back 3 months ago and we have been together for 8 months! It is hard dealing with both the children when my child has a slight form of autism. I try my best to keep everything fair, following through on both children! Sometimes without even knowing it I might do things more for my child, and MY GF does the same with hers, I don't give in to whining, her Mother raised her 4 year old from 1-2 years of age. Her Mother in law wants to baby the children. Doesn't like the way I handle things! And she knit picks me about it! She wants to run our lives, On Christmas she was over the house and I was playing with the step child, step child was sitting in my lap nad we was flying a rc airplane! The child didn't listen to what I said, and the plane crash so I got out of the chair fast, the child didnt get pushed on the ground or hurt, and I told him that he didn't listen to me, it was more of a fast action of getting out of chair, The next day, My girlfriend didn't come home she said she was going to stay at her moms house. And all of a sudden my GF is hardly wants to speak to me, After hours of talking to her one on one, Her mom Said I pushed her child out of the chair and that I didnt' pay the kid any attention when he started whining/crying about not playing with the plane! They told the whole side of her family the story and they are telling my GF that I will never change and to stay away from me, I have never put the kids in danger, I have never put my hands on her child at all, only timeouts, I keep a firm voice when correction the children! The Mother in Law tell her not to move back in or she will do everything in her power to stop it! So now my GF is staying at her MOMs and my GF wants to come home, she just doesnt want to up set her mom, I'm trying my best to be fair to both children, I dont do it on purpose or anything, my GF wont tell me when things I do bother her, they build up! I told her when She see me doing things more for my child to speak up and tell me,it's like this if an adult cuses and you want them to stop, you have to tell them they are doing it so they know they are doing it! What should I do, We are having a baby together in 3 months, and now me and my son are home alone, He has gotten so use to her son and her be here! Thank you!

Ask your GF to attend counseling with you to set up some acceptable rules that everyone (including her mom) must follow. Tell her you will follow the counselor's recommendations.

If money is an issue, call your Mental Health Dept. and ask for a referral for family therapy. It's low or no cost help.

By attending counseling, it will clear the air and give you a fresh start. It will also help take some of the power away from the gf's mother.

Good luck.